Peter's Example

Yep, I've heard every sermon imaginable about Peter walking on water. I figured there wasn't anything I could learn. And yet there is. There are times, as this devotional points out, that it would be easier to stay in the boat as the other 11 disciples did. It is seemingly safe. Jesus is far away, but He is in sight. Storms are raging around me, and I know that if I stay in the boat, I am at least somewhat protected from the storms. In fact, there are times I am certain I have a yacht or a big ocean liner. I should be safe. I don't have to move forward.

And then I have this desire to be close to Jesus. Just as Peter did. I feel so far from Him. He hasn't moved--I have. Jesus calls me to come to Him. And so now I go out into the storm. If I keep my eyes on Him, I will not fall. The moment I take my eyes off Him, down I will go. But He will come to my rescue! And at least if I step out and stumble, I have not just stood still! I have moved forward.

So Peter stumbled. At least he walked on water!! And that is what God calls me to do. Leave the safety and step out in faith. Easier said than done. May I not forget it!

My Weaknesses

I really try with the help of God, but I still mess up! I am learning, and I know that it is when I am weak that God is strong. There is so much I want to say and don't. I get tired of having to hide everything from Dad. It is just like my childhood. I get tired of having so many of my decisions being made for me. I am at least learning to be assertive. God, remind me to pray rather than getting frustrated. Remind me to be appropriate in sharing about You!

Fear of the Unknown

any things about tomorrow
I don’t seem to understand;
But I know who holds tomorrow,
And I know who holds my hand. —Stanphill

Never be afraid to entrust the unknown future to the all-knowing God.

I think God is trying to tell me something. I never listen in AWANA, but I did this week. It was the story of Abraham. And here it is again. God is calling me to wait on Him. He is the One who knows the best time for all of the things He has told me about to come about. I will not doubt for a moment that what He has told me will happen. And you know, if I have to wait another 20 years, what is that to God? I am reminded of the lady at Brandenburg--Penny Mealio. She waited to get married till her children were grown. And God saved her man. So He can certainly do it. Nothing is too big for God. After all. Would I have believed at this time last year that I would be here in this house, subbing all over the place, and being physical with mj? I'm glad God is putting the brakes on that part. I can't do it. But He can!

My utmost devotional

Okay, this one is from December, but it was what I needed to hear. God has revealed much truth to me lately. I have begun to lean on Him as never before. And so now He asks me to take the step of faith that I need to. I must decide to walk in light of that vision. Do I believe God will bring it about? Then why do I say, "I realize it may not happen."? Is that what the blind man and lame man said? Is that what the father said about his son? He said, "Lord, I believe. Help thou my unbelief." May that be my heart's cry. Why say, "He may never be saved," or "We may never be married." Saying that sets my mind to doubt. I know I want to be saved from heart, but instead I need to quietly believe or I will not be ready when the time does come.

Overcoming Temptation

Well, I definitely needed to read this tonight. Last night God and I discussed this since I gave into temptation last night. I am often physically aroused when around mj. It can be very tough sometimes. It seems like it would be so easy to throw myself at him as I have sometimes done in the past. I could get out everything I need and want and go for it. But I know that is not what God wants.

Sin is deceitful. And Satan has changed his tactics. No more severe demonic attacks from the pit of hell. No more Satan saying he will not give up mj's soul. Now it is subtle. Think about the physical. Mention it. Do it. Meditate on it. Instigate it. After all, you have the perfect right.

But I will not. If I didn't have the Lord and His guidance, I can assure you I would be all over mj with a passion. I would say things and do things to get him going. It is only by the grace of God that I can resist this temptation. And I am going to pray! Please help me, Lord!

Will I Ever Learn?

God has promised in His Word that if we ask anything in His Name, He will give it to us. He also knows the desires of our hearts. So today I had so much I wanted to ask for, but I didn't know if what I was wanting was appropriate. I'm so glad God knows our desires even if we don't voice them. He answered anyway. I have been through all this before, and it is always in regard to MJ. I don't know if I will ever learn. I need to ask and not worry about whether what I am praying for is appropriate.

Charles Spurgeon Reflection

Proverbs 27:23
Be thou diligent to know the state of thy flocks, and look well to thy herds.

Charles Spurgeon really had some good things to say about this. He exhorts us to examine ourselves on a regular basis to discover if things are right between God and me. There has been a fantastic change in our relationship, and I really have noticed it the past week or two.

It used to be in relation to MJ that I so longed for us to be together that I was willing to do anything to get us together short of you can guess. I let the physical happen in hopes that things would change.

I was afraid of the physical, and it did come back, but it has now been since Thanksgiving that has happened. It was hard the first week or so, but I now have said, "I don't want anything between us until it can be permanent."

The physical relationship is fleeting. There is nothing lasting in that. I knew that things were different when Satan tempted me tonight, and I said, "No, it is not the way. It is not the way to have a lasting relationship. It was tough for a few minutes tonight, but I knew God was there.

I do long to be in right relationship with God. This is part of that relationship. I am grateful to God for all the work I have been able to do since September. I am so glad, though, that I get 3 weeks off!