Well-Spoken Wednesday--3 of my books came in at the same time!

I have an unusual dilemma.  I am currently reading Cape Refuge (Cape Refuge, No. 1),  I really enjoy it, and I know I have to finish it soon because it is a popular book at our library.  I will look forward to reviewing it here. If you like murder mysteries, this is great, and it is a Christian murder mystery--never read one of those.

At the same time, the book The Mailbox came in.  I can't read it right now, but hopefully I can renew it.

And then today, the book I had been waiting for came in: The Woman in White (Oneworld Classics).  There is only one copy amongst our various network of libraries.  I have to somehow finish it before it is due.  We'll see.  I was surprised to see how long it was!

So those are my current books--here's hoping I can read them all quickly and that they will be good!

     

Twilight Tuesday--A Product Review (Norforms)

I thought I would write tonight about a difficult period of time in my life health-wise.  A few years back, I really struggled with recurring yeast infections.  I don't think I had ever had one before, but  I knew what it was.  It happened around the time of my divorce, my engagement, and continued off and on for about 6 months or so.  I lost count of how many times I went to the doctor and how much medicine I tried.  I just  couldn't seem to get rid of it.  I was beside myself as to what to do.  I would get over it, and it would come right back.  Or I would just about get over it, and then my period would come, and I would have the same old horrible infection.

There was a wonderful product I found when skimming through drugstore.com one day, and I tried it on a whim and based on reviews.  It was a daily vaginal suppository.  I can't remember the exact name or what company because shortly after I got hooked on them, the company quit making them--typical, eh?

I was so glad when I found the product Norforms Long Lasting Feminine Deodorant Suppositories, Unscented, 12 suppositories.  This product is made by cb fleet.  Yes,  these are a feminine deodorant suppository that is used every night, but it works.  I am not certain how it works, but since using these, I have not had a yeast infection.  Perhaps I had the very beginning of one, but generally when I feel one coming on, I just use 2 that day rather than 1.  I don't use them during the heavy day of my period, but they sure work!

Here's my only problem.  It is very easy to find the scented kind, but the unscented cannot be found in stores!  I have to find them online, and they are sometimes very difficult to find.  I buy them in bulk.  I tried the scented kind, and it cause an itchy allergic reaction.

I use a suppository every night--last thing before bed.  Yes, it causes some dampness, but it's nothing major. And I find I am not itchy, and I feel clean.  And most importantly, no yeast infection!

Perhaps you can give these a try.  It is no problem to find the scented ones at Walmart and drugstores and online.  And you may not have a problem with them.  Give them a try.  I gave you the Amazon link, but you can find them most anywhere.  If you are like me and must have the unscented, you will have to order online. The company does not know I am doing a product review, but I plan to forward this onto them with the hopes that they will make it easier to find the unscented variety.  I cannot be the only one who is allergic to the scented ones.

Music Monday--This Is How I Feel Tonight!

My wonderful readers, I would like you to know that I really feel pretty good tonight.  I can't get over how wonderful my outlook is since Friday night.  I have never known such love--and I have been married!  Go figure.

So here is a song or two to put my thoughts into action:

I Feel Love   (can't embed this song)

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the actual post link here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava's Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.  

Solution Sunday--I Finally Understand (as much as a human can)

I know I have posted so many things recently about how God has been working in my spiritual life, but of course, it does go with the name of my blog, doesn't it?  I know I haven't posted anything really terrific, and I have not had time to network, but give me a little bit of time, and I will.

Today, God really opened my heart to understand something that I guess I never really had.  Have you ever been praying or just going about your day and you get a really strange idea that is quite sinful?  I can remember having weird ideas sometimes about ending my life or hurting someone or just doing something off the wall.  I can remember spending time asking God for forgiveness for these thoughts.  I called them my thoughts.  I felt I was responsible for those thoughts.

You know what?  They are not my thoughts!  They are thoughts from the pit of hell, and they come from unredeemed flesh.  My new nature did not think up these horrible things.  What a joy it is to know this and  truly understand who I am in Christ.

Now this is the thing that I  really am surprised about.  When Martin was gone, I  began to list all the things I was not going to do when he was here.  I wasn't going to stop blogging or even slow down.  I wasn't going to go out in his room and watch TV with him in the evenings.  I was not going to make food that caters to him.  I was not going to allow myself to be physical with him at all.  I was going to make sure that he did not control me, and until he becomes a Christian, no way was I going to be affectionate.

What is wrong with those statements?  I asked my mom after church why it is that I have been so willing to do things to show that I love Martin and that I want to be with him.  I didn't understand.  Here's the answer.  While the things I listed are not sinful or necessarily bad, they are from Satan, not God.  They come from fear and an unwillingness to repeat mistakes I have made in the past.  It goes back to what God has said to me before.  I am to show Martin the love of God through the way I love him.  It is a difficult calling at times.  But because I am following God rather than the law, the methods may be unconventional, but it is what Martin  needs.  In fact, I told Mom that I do not even feel deprived in what God has me do even though I can't go as far as my flesh would like to go.  But since I am a new creature in Christ, as I let Him control me, I want to do His will.  For the first time, I did not truly desire going all the way in the same way I had.

So my solution this week is that I am allowing God to control me to show Martin the kind of love he needs to be shown.  I am God's willing vessel, and I hope and pray that I  will continue to be used by God in this way.  It is my calling at this point in my life, and it is my joy to allow God to demonstrate this love.

I promise that later on this week other giveaways will come about, and I will do some networking to hopefully get this blog growing again.  Thank you for sticking by me as I have been sharing my heart!

Sporadic Saturday--Why Am I Surprised?

You know, we are such funny people, aren't we?  We pray for something to happen.  We pray with faith.  We pray and pray.  We even believe that we see signs that it is happening.  God has taught me a lot about all this over the years--especially in relation to Martin.

I can go back to something I prayed for very specifically when I began to correspond with Martin, and then when it happened after I met him, I remember going to God and half-laughing, "I guess I need to be careful of what I pray for."  No, it was nothing  bad--really nothing.  It was just a fun experience that really meant a lot to me that wouldn't have happened without God's intervention.

Over the years with Martin, I have prayed specifically about so many things, and God has always answered.  Very swiftly, sometimes.  I can remember when I used to only see him on the weekends, and I would often pray for something  specific, and God would answer without fail during that weekend.

Well, before Martin came, I prayed that somehow God would give me a sign.  He gave me a fantastic sign before Martin left.  At the airport when Martin left in May, I remember Martin saying through his tears that it would not always be like this.  It gave me great hope.

I prayed for a sign, and after I worked through the emotions of seeing him,  being  glad he got through customs, and all  that, I saw signs that showed me God was at work.  But they were small signs.

In light of last night, I have been awed all day.  I know that I am being a typical woman--remembering the last time.  He is being a typical man--looking to the next  time and going about life.  I have been pretty much walking on air all day today.  And I have worked with Martin today.  I helped him.  I drove the riding lawnmower.  I even rejoiced (yeah, I know it's silly) when he dropped a wrench on my hand.  It was not the dropping of the wrench  that excited me.  It was the fact that he was concerned that he had  hurt me.  No, he hadn't.

Tonight, I asked Mom, "What has changed?"  After all, Martin was so loving, sweet, kind,  and treated me  like a beautiful queen last night.  I have never been treated that way in my life.  He had every chance under the sun to take advantage of me, but he knew I trusted him not to.  And he did not betray that trust.  He treated with me with respect and love.  While he has always treated  me with respect, it is clear that something has changed.

Mom's response, "Well,  God works in  mysterious ways.  Haven't you been praying?"  Well,  duh!  Of course, Mom.  I have been praying till I can't pray any more  sometimes.  So why should I be surprised when God begins to work.  You know, I  believe that the nightmare I had a couple years ago of Satan saying he is not giving up Martin's soul is not going to come true.  God is working  on Martin's heart.  He is answering prayer.  And yet I still marvel.

Thank you to any of you who have prayed.  It means the world to me.  I plan to list some more giveaways this week, and I definitely have to get a CSN stores review written.  My first order came in this week, and I have 2 more on the way.  Have a fantastic rest of your weekend1  I have more giveaways to enter!!

Sporadic Saturday--All is Well

I want thank each of  you who were concerned and prayed about Martin.  If you wonder why I didn't post last night it was that Martin arrived safely.  And we had a fantastic evening.  God is definitely at work.  I will get back on schedule, but it may be sporadic for a few days!  Martin looks fantastic, and you would have thought we were a couple last night.  Our dog was excited to see him, and Martha was overjoyed.  He is at least thinking, and I didn't get to bed till around 1:30 this morning.  Keep praying for his salvation and for us.

Thoughtful Thursday--It's Been a Hard Day, and I Don't Think It Will Get Easier Any Time Soon!

Well, I've put it off for too long tonight.  Now it's time to write.  You will probably notice I did a book review--that was easy.  But things happened today that have made me feel very much like this:

Or this:

I want this:

All right, here is what happened.  Today was supposed to be the day that the love of my life--my best friend from England, Martin--came back to the States.  I was honestly fine today for the morning.  I was not uptight or anything.  I found a job late last night, and I was quite ready to see Martin.  It did not even affect my sleep.

Something interesting happened yesterday.  I had a job in Tacoma, and a job closer to me opened up for  tomorrow, and I didn't know why, but I went ahead and cancelled out the one in Tacoma and went for the one nearby.  If anything, I thought it would get me home earlier.

At my job today, I was checking my phone during a slow part of a class,  and I noticed a voice mail.  That was strange,  I figured it was from my mom,  and I figured it might be  some  change in plan or something.  

It wasn't.  It was Martin saying that he wouldn't be in till Friday.  No big deal, I thought to myself.  Hey, that's even better for us.  I figured there was some problem--a volcano like before that delayed flights--I thought I heard something about some  volcano recently--or maybe the weather or just a flight cancellation.  I sent him a text telling him I got his message,  and  then I turned my phone back off.  Before I did that, I left a message for my mom so she would know about the change in schedule.

A short time later, I checked my phone again.  Martin had tried to call again.  He seemed rather keen on telling  me why the flight was changed.  I didn't see  the big deal--he could tell me when he got  in.  But I sent him a text telling him when my lunchtime was, and  he could call me then.  And he did.

I was preparing to go on the computer, and he called me.  I was not prepared for what he said.  I won't tell you the reason--I feel I need to keep that secret for his sake--but it was quite unsettling what he told me.  The pit of my stomach has not been the same  since.  I had already thanked God for changing my job for Friday, but I was just not prepared for the story Martin related to me.  All I will say is that our security has changed so much over the years, and I just wish that airplane security would catch the real threats rather than deal with imagined threats!  

Here's what scared me, too.  Do you know what my first impulse was?  I thought that I would finally let Martin go all the way physically with me--yes, I was ready to have sex with him!  Good grief, I was shocked!  Where had that come from?  I was so glad that I had been going through the study in church because I immediately recognized this was my flesh and soul speaking, not God's Spirit within me.  I began to pray that God's spirit would control me.  It really did help.  My only thought had been to comfort Martin, but I  know that is not the way God would have me do that.  I don't need a law to tell me that--I have His Spirit!

As I tried to continue through my day, I nearly vomited every time I thought about Martin and what had happened.  I have begun to pray that God will clear the way for him to get through customs tomorrow.  That is what he really needs.  Thankfully, it shouldn't be an issue, but it's just one of those things that is in the back of your mind.  I realized yet again today how much I truly love that man.  Indeed, I felt almost as bad as the time that Martin and I had our major falling-out  a couple years ago.  It is amazing how much Martin affects me physically because no other person has ever done that to me before.

I have tried to remain busy tonight, but as I prepare for bed, I should feel tired, but the adrenalin is now pumping through me.

So here is what I say about thoughtful Thursday.  I am extremely thoughtful--in fact I am thinking too much.

So please, if you would, pray for me,  and pray for Martin.  Pray that I will  calm  down, and pray that he will get into the country safely.  And pray that God's Spirit will control me and that Martin will be saved.  I know I don't usually ask for prayer, but I sense  I need all  the prayer I can.  Thank you, dear friend.  Next week, I promise to get back on the ball and list some more giveaways.  You have been wonderful to follow me through the lean times, and you deserve something great!  I think I have a couple leads on some sponsored giveaways, and so just give me some time.  And winners, I have not forgotten about you.  This weekend, please.