I was talking with my friend, Martin, tonight. He will be coming back to the States next week--a week from Thursday, to be exact. At least I am not suffering panic attacks and the like this year. I am ready to see him again, but I thankfully have a life and an outlet.
His friend is coming a few days later, and they are going off to the Grand Canyon. He told me this last week, and my first thought was, "You idiot! At this time of year??" But no point in saying that. You can't talk him out of anything. No point trying. He is one stubborn guy. The other thing to consider in all this is that he has practically no money coming in. He also wants to get about a thousand dollars worth of car repairs done before he leaves. He is leaving with his friend for two reasons. Yes, his friend wants to see the Grand Canyon, but Martin can't stand my dad. That's a whole other story.
Well, tonight I was at least pleased to hear that Martin's friend was financing most of the trip. I was disappointed they wouldn't be here for Veteran's Day since we all have the day off, but that's his choice.
As we continued talking, he made a statement that still annoys me. He said that in six years he has not done anything with his life--his life has been on hold. I disagreed vehemently, but of course, he didn't budge. The thing I thought of immediately was me, then my daughter, and my mom. It was hard to hear him say that since we have been a very integral part of his life these past six years. I know he meant that his life has not been like he hoped it would be. He hoped that by now he would have met a woman, got married, and settled permanently in the U.S. Well, I'm sorry, but until he surrenders his life to God--like he really knows he should--he will not have the kind of life he wants. God is trying to get his attention, and it may take a lot with a stubborn man like Martin. I'm so glad God is so patient with mankind.
As I look at the situation, I am not happy. Martin is not taking care of his finances as he should, and now he is not appreciating what he has. It would be pretty easy to just say goodbye and forget everything. It is tempting. But you know, faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. As hard as it is, God is asking me to trust Him. It is not up to me to figure everything out. That's God's job. I need to just let go, and let God. That is a good, old line, isn't it?
So in spite of "what it looks like," I will trust God to follow through on His promises. The Bible says He is not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance. He says that with man this is impossible, but with God, nothing is impossible. I hold onto those verses. Plus the one that says that they that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings of eagles, they shall run and not be weary. They shall walk and not faint.
So, God, it is up to You! You work it out because I can't. My job is to trust in You completely! And indeed I shall!
On a different note, I used my first of four gift certificates for CSN stores. I got a meat slicer--I was pleased to find an inexpensive one with good reviews. Once I get it and use it, I'll be sure to review it. They seem like a fantastic place, and I look forward to ordering from them again very soon.
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