Tuesday, December 15, 2009

My First Devotional Blog

This is an easy way for me to comment on what I am reading in my devotions online. We'll see how it works.

Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth —2 Timothy 2:15

Oswald Chambers used this is in his devotional. He talks about working out what you believe and expressing is in words that make sense to others. He says not to borrow what others say and use it as your own. I may read something that is great, and I may be able to make it my own, but I'm sure all of us have had those times when someone says something that we know they do not understand or believe.

God has been working on my lately. I have had to learn that I cannot manufacture things as I have tried to for so many years. Do I really believe that God can do it on His own in His own way and that His way will not be thwarted? Or do I just give this lip service and figure God needs a helping hand? Well, here is what I believe about the matter that affects me the most.

I have known and loved MJ for nearly 8 years now. I have also tried in that period to manufacture his salvation. I have loved him genuinely for the most part, but I have pushed and pulled and tried to get certain things to happen. God spoke with me when MJ came back, and I have decided that this must stop. In order for God to work in his life, I need to rely on Him for everything. I need to pray and look for openings, but there is no room for pushing and prodding and trying to make things happen. When he is saved and ultimately decides to spend the rest of his life with me, it will be because God drew him to Himself and not because I pushed, pulled, and prodded.

It's a difficult position to be in. For the first time in this area, I am not in charge. I am not even a copilot. In fact, I am along for the ride. That's it. When God seeks to use me, He will. And He has. I have definitely seen little steps, and I have some unbelievable memories.

I shall continue to study and rehearse how God would have me act and talk towards MJ. Thank you Lord!


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