Thursday, February 25, 2010

Prayer About Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father,

Lord God, I praise You for rescuing me from the pit. It is clear that I was in one last year at this time. I let the enemy place me there. And there I was. It was a hard time for me. I tried to enjoy my time only to discover where it ultimately led. Lord God, I want to come to You tonight and realize that I never want to be in a pit again, no matter what it may cost me. It cost Beth Moore the love of her mother. If it were to cost me the love of Martin or Martha or even a job, so be it. I refuse to remain in a pit. I may fall in because of something that happens, or it might be temporary place for me, but with Your help, I will never remain in one again.

Lord God, as I begin to study Your Holy Son's prayer life on this earth, may my spiritual eyes be open to what You would have for me. I long to be more Christlike. It is the desire of my heart. I keep thinking about what Ieisha said to me last week. She said that it is so good that I live in the present. Me? That must be You in me. The Ruth I have always known worries about the future and lives there. But I am learning to take everything as it comes. I am learning to live in the present with the help of Your Holy Spirit.

The thing that is draining all of us now is Dad. I don't know what to do, Lord God. I am fortunate in that I am away from it for several hours most days. But I know how it is affecting our family. All I can do is give the matter to You, and know that You will get us through it. My Dad will not change. Unfortunately, he has made that choice. I pray that You will help us through this time. Help Mom most of all. I know how much it affects her.

I pray that You will minister to Martin. How he needs You. I know that lately I have really been feeling you know how towards him. I want so much for something to happen. And yet I don't. I pray that You will continue to help me through my feelings and not approach him though I want to so much. Every time he takes my hands and squeezes it or hugs and kisses me good night firmly, I really feel something surge through me. He does, too. Thank You that he is too tired or too unwilling or too angry to act on his feelings.

As to Martha, I pray that You will help me to be an effective parent. I often feel that I am not. I want to spend time with Martha and show her how much I love her, but I am too tired or too unavailable. Help me in this area. May she herself want to be baptized without my suggesting it. May she long to study Your Word.

As to my church work, I'm not sure what You have in store. We're not doing so well with the Easter music. Guide me in that area. And as to my being the T & T director next year, guide me there as well. I only want to do it if You want me to. I don't want to make a commitment I cannot keep.

And my various tests. Lord God, please help me in that area. Lord God, I am no longer studying. May I recall the facts and pass it the first time.

I pray for Matt and his family. I thank You for their influence in my life. Guide them and keep them on the straight and narrow.

In Your Name,


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