Saturday, November 6, 2010

Sporadic Saturday--Why Am I Surprised?

You know, we are such funny people, aren't we?  We pray for something to happen.  We pray with faith.  We pray and pray.  We even believe that we see signs that it is happening.  God has taught me a lot about all this over the years--especially in relation to Martin.

I can go back to something I prayed for very specifically when I began to correspond with Martin, and then when it happened after I met him, I remember going to God and half-laughing, "I guess I need to be careful of what I pray for."  No, it was nothing  bad--really nothing.  It was just a fun experience that really meant a lot to me that wouldn't have happened without God's intervention.

Over the years with Martin, I have prayed specifically about so many things, and God has always answered.  Very swiftly, sometimes.  I can remember when I used to only see him on the weekends, and I would often pray for something  specific, and God would answer without fail during that weekend.

Well, before Martin came, I prayed that somehow God would give me a sign.  He gave me a fantastic sign before Martin left.  At the airport when Martin left in May, I remember Martin saying through his tears that it would not always be like this.  It gave me great hope.

I prayed for a sign, and after I worked through the emotions of seeing him,  being  glad he got through customs, and all  that, I saw signs that showed me God was at work.  But they were small signs.

In light of last night, I have been awed all day.  I know that I am being a typical woman--remembering the last time.  He is being a typical man--looking to the next  time and going about life.  I have been pretty much walking on air all day today.  And I have worked with Martin today.  I helped him.  I drove the riding lawnmower.  I even rejoiced (yeah, I know it's silly) when he dropped a wrench on my hand.  It was not the dropping of the wrench  that excited me.  It was the fact that he was concerned that he had  hurt me.  No, he hadn't.

Tonight, I asked Mom, "What has changed?"  After all, Martin was so loving, sweet, kind,  and treated me  like a beautiful queen last night.  I have never been treated that way in my life.  He had every chance under the sun to take advantage of me, but he knew I trusted him not to.  And he did not betray that trust.  He treated with me with respect and love.  While he has always treated  me with respect, it is clear that something has changed.

Mom's response, "Well,  God works in  mysterious ways.  Haven't you been praying?"  Well,  duh!  Of course, Mom.  I have been praying till I can't pray any more  sometimes.  So why should I be surprised when God begins to work.  You know, I  believe that the nightmare I had a couple years ago of Satan saying he is not giving up Martin's soul is not going to come true.  God is working  on Martin's heart.  He is answering prayer.  And yet I still marvel.

Thank you to any of you who have prayed.  It means the world to me.  I plan to list some more giveaways this week, and I definitely have to get a CSN stores review written.  My first order came in this week, and I have 2 more on the way.  Have a fantastic rest of your weekend1  I have more giveaways to enter!!


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