Sunday, August 15, 2010

More Healing!

Church was interesting this morning. I have been in a Sunday School that has focused on marriage and the Song of Solomon. It has been hard at times to go--sometimes I have been very emotional and sometimes I have been truly hormonal. But I am convinced that God has wanted me there. Many memories and issues have come back to me that I thought I had dealt with, and God is truly healing me. I have seen how many mistakes I made before and during the marriage. But I also have seen what I did right, and I have realized that it truly wasn't my fault the marriage ended. I wasn't beating myself up over any issues in the marriage any more, but I find I can talk about the marriage and my ex much easier than I used to.

Today the focus was spiritual connection and lack thereof in marriage. I was actually able to talk about things in my marriage and even laugh about them. One was when we prayed together. I hated praying with him!!! One of use would say we needed to pray, and I would generally begin. I prayed about the issue, got to the point, and then I was done. He, on the other hand, would begin pacing back and forth in our little mobile home (he began the prayer with Amen almost always!!), and he would go on and on for 30 minutes. I would pray for it to end really soon. Goodness! Talk about not being able to connect.

I then told of a truly inspirational time in our marriage. It is one I still remember quite fondly--the best time in our marriage. We went on a 3-week missions trip to Yemen.

It was a wonderful 3 weeks. We grew close than ever before, and it really hit me that December when missionaries we had worked with were martyred for their faith. I knew 2 of the 3 who were killed. It really shook me. Amazingly (or not!), it didn't even affect him. I still have something that one of them made, and I will treasure it always.

It was so good to be able to share so much of this. Even with a smile on my face!!


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